lions and tigers... and tankers?

Saw the original of this a couple of years ago, but the newer one make me laugh until I was nearly sick. Which for me isn't much, but still.

Watch this, let that sink in, and then watch this.

-----

watchmen delayed?

"And I'll look down, and whisper 'no.'" (Please, no!)

an open memo to andy burnham

In the spirit of the previous James Purnell-related rant, but maybe with a cause readers can really get behind:

Dear Mr Burnham,

You are a moron for thinking age ratings on the internet are actually an option.

I'm not even going to start on the huge number of reasons why; but I shall pick this (kinder) one (and then make it crudely): I was a teenager not very long ago. Like all teenage boys, (sorry girls, even the nice ones) I surfed for free porn. When confronted with a time-wasting screen with "You must be over 18 to view this site", I OF COURSE, without HESITATING, always clicked the the one that would redirect me to Google rather than showing me the moneyshot.

Do you think underage boys stumble on porn accidentally? Do you think they are surfing for free, legal, DRM-compatible tunes to they can go bopping with their mates, drinking fanta orange and laughing at age-appropriate comedy before their ten p.m. bed-time? Of course you don't. And if you do, why did you even get elected?

The saddest thing is, which particular constituents do you believe will actually agree with your proposals, other than those who know as little about the issues involved as you do?

The most preposterous part of the whole affair is that age ratings would probably make it even easier to find exactly what boys are looking for. Heck, maybe new, underrated porn will even be uncovered that was previously missed because it was so far down the google scale.

But don't take my condemnation of your OAP-pandering as a one-off. Here's many, many pages of similar comments compiled by the crazy, leftist, liberal wackos of the British Broadcasting Corporation...

---------------------

mind your language

As I await the Christmas offerings, shiny new socks in hand (or on foot), I spotted Mr Linehan had picked up on this story about Frank Skinner's current experiment, which was also mentioned on Have I Got News For You last night in passing. When it comes to swearing as a Christian, I see people falling in to one of three camps: firmly, and somewhat justifiably, completely against; only occasionally, in the secure comfort of other Christian friends when they feel they can actually be themselves; or to hell with it.

I guess most of the time I can fall in to any of these categories to be honest, but when it comes to swearing in comedy, the waters are murkier still. A recent debate with a certain oversized vidiot has surrounded this. Most of the time, I think swearing is unnecessary; but every now and again, it can be a glorious drop-in of the English language for some comedy. I have very little time, however, for those who use it to take half-assed jokes and make them appealing or funny purely by adding the edge of copious swearing - see the output of many of Channel 4's favourites.

Hence I will always point to Linehan & Co's output over the last few years. Ted, Black Books, The I.T. Crowd and even material from the likes of Big Train have repeatedly given us some of the most side-splitting comedy possible, and what's more, for the most part it has been completely inoffensive. As much as this is tribute to writers' talent, it also goes to show that each of these shows had the skill to be funny without having to fall back on shock value. Of course, on occasion a well-placed bit of cursing has resulted in fantastic humour, but a lot of the reasoning behind this is because of the unexpected nature.

[And no, Father Jack's "swearing" doesn't count here folks...]

So I'm not congratulating Graham Linehan, Frank Skinner and others so much on purely faith-based reasoning (as they would probably be relieved to hear!) but also because in "cleaning up" their acts, they've discovered that even better humour can be produced in more original and novel ways. Huzzah!

-----------

emigrating

Been cleaning up and working with family footage (filmed by my late grandfather) for a few weeks, but only actually hacked some together in a mad dash today. The results are below: specific stuff relating to my great-uncle Tom, who emigrated to New Zealand in the '60s. Out of context it'll mean nothing to anyone, but that's not the point.



And yes, I've pillaged their music again. I only ever did it to wind Lynnette up...

--------------------

no one likes red monsters

Ah, good times... courtesy of Quickstop Entertainment

----------

(no more) sport on five

Whenever I used to work in one particular fine hotel establishment, I would often find myself coming home in the wee small hours, all a-buzz and unable to sleep. At such times, Five's North American Sport coverage became a close friend, and as well as contributing to my hockey interest, MLB also became a minor obsession for a little while. It's a bit sad then today that it's official: five are cutting costs by dropping all the coverage, bar a few remaining NFL and NBA games. There's a petition to save it, but it's a bit pointless really.

Still... there's always consolation to be found in the House of Trouser's rolling NHL '06 championship series...

---------

vox populi vox deus

A lot of broo-hah-hah this morning about the Archbishop of Canterbury admitting there are bigger problems in the world than Anglican disestablishment. As someone who was brought up in a disestablished Anglican church, and yet still has time for what Dr. Williams has to say, I would tend to agree. Nah, I'm instead going to make a fuss over Rowan's choice of targets for some tenuous linkage:

The archbishop also [...] appears to compare himself to Josiah Bartlett, the fictional president played by Martin Sheen in the West Wing. He says: "It's so consoling to watch those episodes when something goes terribly wrong - you know the president says something that is misinterpreted ... and you think, 'Now what does that remind me of'?"

For shame, Rowan. Taking the Bartlet's name in vain. The journalist's typo shows his own ignorance, but Guardian readers united are going to be descending on you like a ton of bricks...

exporting 16:9 from final cut pro

...has often been a pain in the arse. I am lazy, and so must confess I cannot really do much with DVD Studio at any great speed. This being so, I usually utilise iDVD to bang out quick product. However, a recurring problem is this: upon exporting a lovely anamorphic self-contained Quicktime movie, and importing it as such into a 16:9 build in iDVD, everything goes well until you play the film and it comes out at a crunched, pillarboxed 4:3. I have fixed this many times, and forgotten it again as many. So this time I'm blogging about it, as much for my own information as anyone else's.

According to Apple Support, the information that FCP 'speaks' whenever a 4:3 movie is actually an anamorphic 16:9 is not the same as that which Quicktime and iDVD will recognise. What is required is a quick couple of clicks in Quicktime Pro (bundled with FCP and FCP Studio products) to translate, as such.

Choose Window > Show Movie Properties.

In the Properties window, click Video Track in the Name column.

Click the Visual Settings button.

Deselect the checkbox for Preserve Aspect Ratio.

Change the Scaled Size:
For NTSC, enter 853 x 480.
For PAL, enter 1024 x 576.

Now the movie should be displayed at a 16:9 aspect ratio.

Choose File > Save to save the movie.

And you're done.

-------------

holidays are coming - apparently

This particular curiosity has appeared at the bus stop at the top of our street - and therefore, I would guess, is popping up all over the Big Smoke. Enable bluetooth on your mobile device of choice and instantly you will find yourself invited to download a certain Christmas-monopolising megabrand's instantly recognisable jingle (sic). I've heard about people using this tool before - namely the police and the city council, actually - but it's the first time I've seen it used for purely commercial purposes.

Thinking of starting a pool on how soon it gets smashed to pieces, but on second thoughts the spides around here probably think it's incredible...

an open (informal) letter to james purnell

You sir, are an idiot. Let me testify as to why.

I finished my teaching postgraduate stuff in July (effectively) but began applying for work long before. Now, I had already decided I did not want to follow the teaching career, but to aim for youth work (not as simple a transition in terms of qualifications as you might imagine) and to also fall back a bit on my original undergraduate stuff - filmmaking. Wary of how this could cost me in the work place, I therefore actively started looking around more or less from the start of the year, having my first interview at Easter.

I have now been claiming Jobseeker's Allowance (JSA) for five months. I don't claim Housing or any other benefits (though I really should as it's a constant struggle for rent and other overheads.) You reckon that this means I'm not trying hard enough to get back to work. I've been accused of this before, but I take particularly offence this time because this is from a guy who was born in the City of London, whose summer job was working for Tony Blair, and who has almost certainly never needed for anything in his entire life.

I have found myself in a middle-class trap, illustrated by feedback I have received. I'm told I'm too overqualified to work for a minimum wage post (having applied for shopwork, B&Q, a pizza parlour, etc.) because it's obvious I'll leave at the drop of a hat; which would be fine, but I keep getting all these interviews for 'proper' jobs, but no end product.

Oh but don't the Job Centre give me help? Ha. I go in, I hand in my form recording my weekly efforts (which I could write more or less anything on) someone grunts at me and hands me something to sign. That's it. That's all you need to do to get free money in this country. Actually that's not strictly true - my last review interview in Belfast was conducted by a thoroughly lovely young woman who actually took an interest. I nearly died of shock. Someone should make her a manager.

How much? Sorry, yes. £47.50. Ever tried living on less that £50 a week? Try it sometime.

I don't tell my sob story for pity - it's my hole, and I'll get out of it eventually. But please James, bear in mind that for every few wasters, fraudsters and liars that hang around sitting on their tod all day, there's a rapidly-growing group of young and old professionals who struggle from week to week, and your system has completely failed them. The problem isn't us, it's you. Or rather, the people who work for you. If you're going to "help", then actually be of some assistance and justify your existence. Otherwise, just sign off the damn form and let me get back to my extra-value cheese.

SM:FM - the mad half hour

A new internet radio show which I had the minimal possible input into the production of goes live tonight. Streaming from 9pm GMT, the good folks at Summer Madness, Ireland's largest Christian festival have produced a new magazine show, tentatively entitled The Mad Half Hour (though it's probably more like 45 with the songs included.) As well as streaming tonight and tomorrow night, the entire show sans tunes (copyright issues, obviously) will be available for download from the website as well. I haven't heard the assembled product yet, but it should be good whether you're local or not.

Click here to listen or download the podcast.

----------

blocked up

Had sketch idea. Laughed for a prolonged period of time. Been trying to come up with a single line of monologue for quite some time now. I'm not someone often stricken with writer's block, but it seems to be happening.

Right now.

x factor 2008: first single to be "hallelujah"?

Having watch ITV's X Factor for the first time last week, and being suitable appalled, I couldn't resist going to the website today to find out what had happened on last night's show. Was tempted by this particular video diary, where all four remaining artists film the promo for the first single - regardless of who the winner is, the song will be the same. But what is it? About a minute in, the clapperboard reveals that it's called Hallelujah. And yes. It's the Leonard Cohen song, made famous in our time by numerous covers, I will cry. I will. I will actually die a little inside, along with taste, dignity and everyone with a brain. And of course, it will be Christmas number one by a landslide.



This story leaked in rumour form a couple of days ago, but it seems that this clip is the first real comfirmation.

[Now I know what you're thinking... first he says he likes Katy Perry (see below) and now he admits to watching X Factor... no, it really is me. It's been that kind of weekend...]

---------

hot and cold

From a strictly musical standpoint... I'm kind of glad she went for the image change...

...ok, and I downloaded One Of The Boys. The only type of comment I can make that won't see me laughed out of the room is that like many debut albums (where the collection of songs is often a canon covering an artist's entire formative years, see everyone from Duke Special to Avril Lavigne) the range of topics and styles is huge. And (in particular, like Mrs. Lavigne-Webley) it's not surprising that album tracks are completely unexpected. Katy Perry has a load of songs that have been in the background of glossy teen TV shows for years, and you know what? They're not bad - in fact they're probably top class for that particular genre of nail-chewingly-bad, Kelly-Clarkson-esque drivel. Moreover, there's a couple of very clever lyrics and language/wordplay tricks that maybe justify a second listen.

Right *cough* time to stop digging and get back to proper music...

-------------------------

scarred?

Working on and off on a project for my father, digitally restoring and cutting 8mm footage my paternal grandfather took of the family over several years in the sixties and early seventies. It's very healthy nostalgia, and I find it quite fascinating at times; however, an unfortunate pause during some beach footage earlier confronted me with the appalling sights of my own father's rotundal arse.


Chilling.

----------

viva la vida, or satch and all his riffs

Interesting sidebar on the BBC's Entertainment News today. Guitar hero Joe Satriani is suing Coldplay for plagiarism. Satch reckons that the verse melody from title track Viva La Vida sounds uncannily like one of the movements in his 2004 track If I Could Fly (kicks in about 0:55 into the track). This YouTuber has mashed samples from the two for easier comparison.

Thing is, would Chris and the lads really be that daft? If you're going to rip someone off, why do it with someone who's sold as many records as Satch? Would they not be smart enough to realise someone might catch on?

Whenever I was still writing with MNC, I once discovered I'd plagiarised a Hoobastank song I'd heard maybe only once or twice before, but genuinely hadn't realised that that was where I'd lifted a vocal melody from. We never played the song live, but even if we had I doubt Island Records would have been knocking on my door for compensation...

...let's face it, plagiarism is everywhere.

---------

who's on first

Tom Jeter was right about this one... Abbott & Costello invented a joke device that has been utlised countless times, and is instantly recognisable; but they do it very, very well.



While we're on comedy... this one made me weep a little.



Good times.

--------------

idiocy

Played here once (Aside: I reckon I'm the 75th visitor to that website in about ten years. I'm guessing from the age of certain people in the pictures!) They were launching their first youth service at the weekend, so maybe the spiritual backlash for that is that stones were literally thrown. I don't get irked at church vandalism because it's targeting the building - for they are only building, remember - but actually more that what's usually destroyed is:

(a) memorials
(b) art
(c) painstakingly and lovingly created work.

----------

arranging

This is a great explanation of a problem faced by all true film fanatics - something I tried to articulate to a cruel audience (well, Ruth) a couple of weeks ago.

For the record, I adopted a system from my cousin, who at the time had such a large library it took up wall-to-wall shelves and most of the floor too. Studio, then year. Although this does still split up vanilla discs of trilogies, for example (the Dollars trilogy in my case) in the case of boxsets (The Godfather, Indy, BTTF) they are filed by the year of the initial release. This also (usually) guarantees most works within a director's canon will be within touching distance (e.g. Kevin Smith's Mirimax years) and also, thanks to the one-dimensional nature of the modern studio system, works are usually also in loose genre.

Thoughts? Feelings?

approaching

Welcome to Advent. Was just flicking through a few updates and spotted that Mars Hill are running an MHBC Advent Blog, contributed to by local artists and thinking sorts. It's an idea I saw run a few times - for advent and lent - by Neal, and is a really great way to get digestible thought on a daily basis.

Also happy World Aids Day and a (slightly-belated) Oscar Wilde Day, in that order. Noticed that Stephen Fry's twittering has caused #oscarwildeday to become twitter's top search term today. Huzzah.

---------------------

human traffic

This happened two doors up the street from us here on Thursday morning. The saddest thing is, I suppose, that the rumours had been going around for weeks about the dodgy goings-on at number 12; but behind the joking and the scandal, some real people have had their lives destroyed for profit. The sadder thing is that, if current urban legend is to be believed, there's another one six streets across.

-----------------------------------------------------

manage this...

Rigsy off of ATL reckons MGMT are rubbish. In a wunnerful, 'Just cause everyone says something's cool doesn't mean it automatically is' moment, the proof he offers for his argument (including some truly appalling live footage) is giving me that 'vindicated' feel. I told you all so. But are we all just too scared to speak out against the Boosh-loving, Radio-1-listening, Carr-laughing mode of things that aren't actually as good as lots of students would convince you? Rigsy reckons so.

That in mind and I was pretty pleased when a few people said to me they appreciated where I was coming from and agreed with every word. Turns out I'm not the only person who was shocked at just how bad this band are onstage, yet for some reason no one had said a word. No one I know, anyway

I like ATL again.

--------------------

unbeatable views

This is very random, but was doing a bit of wikitrailing today and ended up on Jon Stewart's page. I'm a big fan of the The Daily Show but had never seen the following bit of US TV history before - Stewart's cold open for the first show back post-9/11. It's a truly moving piece of watching, and even though it seems unscripted and disjointed, I found myself hanging on every word - as, it seems, did the audience, who respectfully held off any applause or response until the host was through.



For me, it recalls a strange incident at home a few years ago. An American friend of my father's was staying with us, and when 9/11 came up, I was excited to be able to pull out a wad of newspapers I'd saved from the following coverage. The friend was speechless, and I was shooed away in shame. At the time, I only half-comprehended the idea. But I guess it's hard to imagine, even now, that so many people were killed in an instant by the choice of another. I'm a huge fan of perspective - the current problems in the DRC or Darfur, for instance, are just as terrifying a human tragedy, if not infinitely more because of their respective longevities. But all the same, what Stewart has to say is worth hearing, because it reminds us that not only are we immensely privileged by fortune of birth, but we don't spend anywhere near enough remembering that.

------------------------------

only by night

I know I'm getting repetitive on this one, but there's a new Watchmen trailer viewable online (as in not the one with the Pumpkins in the background, but a shiny new one with Muse.) It's the first bit of footage I've seen that actually attempts to introduce the story - by giving away that the first few pages of the book are concerned with someone chucking the Comedian out of his high-rise apartment window (that doesn't really count as a spoiler, does it?) Watch it and weep at the beauty.

Also interesting, if you're a fan of the book (and everyone should be) is a bit of a cryptic interview with director Zack Snyder on Empire Online, where he mentions how they've decided to deal with the ending of the book, without actually giving away anything to anyone who doesn't know about it already. Also, it sounds as if they intend to pack the DVD with extras mirroring the book's "extras" - clippings and extracts from articles and books that come between the chapters in the graphic novel. Touches like that should make it a whole experience onto itself.

I actually can't wait.

-------------

how (not) to talk about God

Watched Rob Bell say this a while ago. Agreed, but still wasn't sure where to go. Then read this today - "How To Actually Talk To Atheists." It's brilliant. I can think of a couple of people already I want share it and digest it with. I can think of people who will disagree, and those who will find it articulates the feelings they've always had.

Just as useful is Bishop Alan's short summary of why what Joe the Peacock is arguing is so right. Here's a highlight (shamelessly lifted directedly, go to his blog for further recommended reading):

Using the traditional, human-spam model of witnessing, you use interruption-marketing techniques to spread the word about your faith. Because you are Christian, and because you are employing techniques that are unwelcome and unwanted, you communicate the following through your actions:
Christians would rather be correct than listen to differing opinion.
Christians do not respect the personal space (mentally and physically) of non-believers.
Christians feel they are superior to non-believers because they have salvation.
Christians would rather rely on faith as evidence than rely on fact.

That alone is a week's worth of chewing over. So get to it. I would absolutely love to talk this over with anyone who's up for it, it's really grabbed my interest.

everything must go

WARNING: SHAMELESS SALESMANSHIP TO FOLLOW:

Tomorrow (Saturday 15th) there's a craft fair on at the Church of the Resurrection (to the rear of the COISC) 22 Elmwood Av., Belfast. There's at least 15 different exhibitors, flogging their handmade goods. One of those will be myself - sneakily wishing to swap your pennies for either some photographic prints (with a choice of tasteful framing options!) or some painstakingly put-together handmade greetings cards (kudos goes elsewhere for that one.)

Actually, the whole sale should be rather good, particularly for getting something affordable and unique for Christmas presents. The whole thing is in aid of the Tearfund project at CAF in Sao Paulo, where I was with the COISC team at the start of the summer. Tearfund themselves will also be selling TearCraft items, which are always top quality.

Of course, if you do come, swing by and say hello. If I'm not at my own exhibit, I'm probably doing my shift behind the grand piano...

-----------------------------------

show + tell

My head hurts!

[1] Been meaning to pare my current offering down to a "proper" showreel for at least two years. Have to give a presentation in a job interview next week. Have therefore resolved that this would be a good use of my time.

[2] Problem is, I've been slowly wading (in my spare time) through a previously-mentioned wedding video for a month now, and am still only about 60% of the way into the edit. I'm vaguely comforted though that apparently the mind-numbing boredom of this kind of task (no matter how much you love the people, and I really do) is a common frustration. (Not aided as that on the day, so much went... well, not wrong, just awkward...) Fiddling with a showreel is definitely going to be a distraction...

[3] Being out of full-time employment, I have resolved, is not fun. Spent today (like many before) trawling through websites, phoning people, and filling out some forms. The horrible thing is people keep offering to support me: but I'm far too proud and I hate owing people, no matter how much I love them. In fact, that probably makes it harder. But rent is due, MOT is looming, and I ain't got no money (wickeba wickeba wickeba wickeba da da da da....)... Am demented, having now written out my personal details and employment history so many times, I still see it whenever I close my eyes. (For the record, it's usually in Arial, size 12. Could be worse - could be Times New Roman.)

Ouch.

-------------------

never kick 'em when they're down...

...oh, what the hell.


---------------------------

ahhhhhh sohhhhh

Honestly, not becoming a clip blog... but this made me laugh my socks off.
[Cheers to Bishop Alan, through whose blog it was delivered to me.]

----------------------------

mad as a box of frogs

Gore Vidal, 83 years old and still stickin' it to the man.
(Cheers to martymc at the Kingdom for finding it on d'Tube.)


--------------------------------------

hope cometh in the (early) morning

It's finally happened.

It's change we can believe in.

-----------------------------

candy for my eyes

Mmmmmm..... tasty.

------------------

hope rising

Those of you who can vote for the next leader of the free world - get out and do it on behalf of those of us who can't. I don't even care who you vote for, as long as it's not anyone who switched all their personal beliefs just to get Pat Robertson and his ilk to vote for them.

(Watched The 700 Club for the first time this morning... further proof, by the way, if proof were needed that whoever produces the God Channel needs to maybe open a Bible every once in a while, and find out that racism, bigotry, sniping, undermining and conspiring are all things that the guys on the other side of the 'aisle' from Christ were up to...)

More important than that little rant - check out the BBC's neutral guide to the key election issues.

A funky piece of electoral math wisdom for you. 48 states use a 'Winner Takes all' method within the electoral college. Two do not - Nebraska and Maine allocate through a tiered system. Go figure.

We're staying up all night tonight for a night of election poker, in the presence of David Dimbleby no doubt. Change is a-comin'... just ask the good folks of Dixville Notch...

----------------------------------------

cheated

Bit of "telling-it-like-it-is" from David Lynch here. Still can't stand his films, but he's not half right. (Tip of the hat to Graham, who from I stole this.)



--------------

democracy for china, part II

Ultimate Guitar report that seeing as Axl kept up his end the bargain, the Doctor will keep his too. So there you have it.

----------------

keep me where the light is

In honour of my current trawl (third time already today) through the amazing John Mayer's Where The Light Is live album, I recalled this sketch from Dave Chappelle's show. Enjoy. Then go watch the old Samuel L. Jackson beer one. ("Ain't ya never seen my movies???") Then the Lil' John at the Health Centre one...



------------------

mistakes and maladies

Currently cutting together footage from my former roommate's wedding from a couple of weeks ago. It is, without a doubt, the most painful editing process I've ever engaged in. It shouldn't be that hard: two camera setup for both service and reception, sync the clip, blam blam...

1] Corrupt tape. The camera covering the wide angles at the service was primed and loaded by myself, as my assistant for the day was everyone's favourite drummer from a former piano-driven alt. rock quartet, and although he had a vague idea what to do, was not to be trusted. However, when I started to capture his version of the service coverage, frames were being dropped everywhere... blips and crunches all over the place. Buggery.

2] 4:3 vs 16:9. Whole thing was filmed in anamorphic DV CAM. In a case of idleness on my part, I imported to a 4:3 timeline and didn't notice until AFTER I'd synced and laid out, from end to end, all the clips of the service. Currently going back and retrieving each one from the original captures to replace. Suicidal work.

3] Poor lighting. Reception in particular (as you can imagine) was in a lovely hotel, with very dim, atmospheric lighting. Buggery again.

4] Sound. Had no way of taking a line out in either the church or the reception (despite having purloined 100 METRES of XLR from the 'Box' due to time restrictions and unhelpful staff respectively.

Don't get me wrong. I'm pretty pleased with most of the pictures. The DiaryCam in particular was a stroke of genius (guests recorded Big Brother Diary Room-style messages for the couple) and worked a treat. But the edit is dragging on and on, and what little time I've been able to give it over a hectic couple of weeks has still yielded little tangible results.

Onwards!

----------------------------------------------

t in the barn: the aftermath

So I've just realised that with all the busy-ness over the last couple of weeks, I never actually got around to wrapping up coverage of T in the Barn. And frankly, I still can't really get my head around it. A day of frantic set up, the start delayed by a couple of hours... but it didn't rain, and all the bands showed up. And no complaints! (In face, our elderly next door neighbours can be quoted as saying, "Let it rip!" so there you go.)

It was a fantastic, if freezing cold, night. Music was great, people were great, and we managed to capture the feel I'd wanted, of complete participation. Pretty much everyone there had had some small part to play in making everything happen, whether helping setup, taking a turn on the kettles, doing a run to pick people up from the bus or whatever.

Best of all, we raised £130 for Tearfund and charity: water. So an extra whoop whoop for all.

A small selection of photos can be browsed here on Facebook. Thanks again to all involved. Roll on next year... and hopefully (but hush hush) there might be more, if Belfast-based, "collective events" before next summer rolls around...

---------------------------

democracy for china?

Oh.

My.

Word.

It's actually happening.

Pity we're not eligible for the free cola.

plain wrong

I'll be honest, I've only ever had a grudging respect for Ruth Gledhill (she is English, after all, and you know how I feel about those people...) but if her current poll about US election nominees is serious, then I have to seriously question her judgement:

Check out 'Who Is The Better Christian 'here .

I'm pretty appalled, for more reasons than I care to even start discussing. It's satire folks, but not as we know it - and I'm pretty liberal! My main issue is that even though she's (hopefully) trying to cause a serious debate in a humourous way, it's a joke that requires you to be in on it to get it. And my fear would be that any non-Christian looking at it is going to go, "oh, my...."

-----------------------------------

avast me facebookin' hearties!

Ok, so maybe I'm the last person to pick up on this, but you can go to settings in facebook and change the language to English (Pirate). I'm won over mainly because of the attention to detail... someone must've had a slow day at the office - or be very committed to the teachings of Cap'n Slappy and Ol' Chumbucket.
Garrr...

1 2 3 4...

"...chickens just back from the shore" (1.15). Bloomin' genius.

george & tony

Recently unearthed a project from second year of uni, wherein we had to edit together found footage to make a doc about George W. Bush's trip to the province the year previous (2004). This was the result, which I've just added to the Youtube channel and the mediatree showcase - cause it's not bad as an editing demo at least!

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a new power is rising, part ii

We got broadband. I've already used nearly 10% of the monthly limit getting through a backlog of updates and downloads I've been saving for the occasion. Considering we're in the back end of nowhere, it's bloomin' quick at 7 megs. Good times.

------------

twittering on

Always kinda liked Twitter, even though simultaneously considering it completely useless. Well, I might actually use it now after discovering that a little-known robot makes it completely Skype compatible - and therefore completely eliminating the need for running an extra application if you couldn't be arsed logging on to yet another web-based app - as my previous diatribe against Google Reader et al has already indicated, I like things to be possible in as few clicks as possible.

I don't know if this means I will actually use twitter now - I still think facebook updates are, for me, a more-viewed version of the same thing (not as public, but people who might actually be interested - you never know - will see them!) But at least, if the notion grabs me, it might be a whole lot quicker.

Find the article about the quick setup for twitter for skype here.

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a new power is rising

Something I honestly thought would never happen is about to begin... the homestead here is going broadband. Honestly, we had the internet before most people around here, back when Dixon's Freeserve existed (before it became Wanadoo, and we were still using it, and Orange, when we're not) was the ISP of choice, when men were men... etc. and everyone thought downloading Buck Rodgers via Napster in less an hour was about as cool as it could get.

Anyhoo, for the last few years my mum was cranking along on BT Surftime 24/7, an anytime dial-up provision which sufficed without being particularly, you know, useful. And this was fine until I moved home as a bankrupt postgraduate. For a while I never got round to it, and after the half way mark I assumed/hoped/prayed that I'd be independent again by the end of the year (I love my mum; I love my family; not such a fan my best friend being a dog, out here in the wilderness. A particularly hapless mutt, at that.) But now, despite the fact I'm hoping to move out in the next couple of weeks - heard it here first - we are, in fact, finally going hitech with BT's Option 1.

Option 1 you scream? 10GB download limit? It's my mum, folks. She downloads some stuff off TeacherTube, fights with my little sister about her (my sister's) inability to use her own e-mail address when buying crap, and that's about it. In fact, here's the thing: so far, BT have been - wait for it - rather good.

Had a live chat with an adviser when purchasing, and am assured that the stuff will be delivered tomorrow, and activated tomorrow night. Nothing has gone wrong. I know it will. I know I'll open the box tomorrow, and there'll be a severe absence of, you know, an ethernet cable or something fundamental like that. But until then, my blissful ignorance leads me to say that so far, so good.

But I'm itching for it to be otherwise just so I can moan...

mind the pregap

OK, so maybe I'm a bit slow. Pregaps are something I was vaguely aware of, but never really bothered to understand. My bad. Having now read up on them, I spent the last hour or so raiding my CD collection, and finding some absolute gems of hidden tracks from some great artists. A quick hook-up through the desk to Garageband, and I'm up a load of new, easily accessible mp3s.

Favourites so far include the original demo of "9 crimes" on 9, wherein it sounds like Damien Rice does all the bashing and backing vocals himself, based around a much harder and edgier guitar riff - much better to me than the piano-based single. Another great one is "I Just Can't Get Through To Myself", a snappy two minute wonder from David Gray on White Ladder. Do yourself a favour, find out what the hell I'm talking about on wikipedia and then get stuck in. Happy hunting!

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pirates of the underage-tween

I have never seen High School Musical. All I know about Miley Cyrus is that she takes her clothes off for money. I know who Hilary Duff is, in fact I have an .mp3 by her. But I still don't care about whoever it is she's verbally sparring with. And until a couple of days ago, I didn't really care about the existence of the Jonas Brothers, other than Russell Brand acted the gype and they didn't even have the decency to set the lawyers on him. (I'm one of those people who looks at the poor English folk with their Jimmy Carrs and their Russell Brands, and then shake my head and mutter 'cause they still don't get what funny actually means.)

But suddenly, I am enraged. Dumbfounded. For it would appear that these Jonas boys have been plundering the beloved Busted's back-catalogue (yes, that's right, BELOVED) and recycling their hits as their own to stadiums full of small children! And not even that - the Disney folks have got to work and cleaned up the lyrics - check out year 3000... there used to be triple-breasted women in this song, and Michael Jackson! But no more...

When you take MJ out, you might as well pack it in...

streams of joy

"This is the app that lets me drink straight from the Internet firehose, and I couldn't live without it." - Cory Doctorow [Boing Boing]

Having been consistently irritated by the way I get at all the RSS feeds I like to follow, I threw in the towel with all previous attempts at a fulfilling relationship today and went a-hunting. And with immense success. Was playing with Flock for a while and its built-in reader, which I still reckon is a nice concept if a bit messy. I also could never find myself enamoured with web-based readers, such as Google Reader which Dave only yesterday tried to rope me into.

Happiness, it turns out, appears to come in the form of the frankly-gorgeous NewsNetWire, a free Mac stand-alone utility, that already I find myself horrendously attracted to. It's sleek, it's slimline, and more importantly, it works. Really, really well. Download it now and pack all others in, children, the king of readers/aggregators has landed and I can't believe I only came across it today.

It also has an iPhone version, and yes, some plug-ins for Outlook etc. so that those backward Windows users can join in to. Check out the selection here. Then do yourself a favour and download the lot.

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life reflecting art reflecting life

A long time ago I remarked upon the similarity between the current US election and that of season seven in TV's (and possible man's) greatest achievement - The West Wing. The BBC's online review magazine have picked up on the story, and although I didn't realise it it seems that, at least in the Santos-Obama case, the similarity was entirely accidental. Particularly if you've seen the DNC episode where Santos gets the nomination (in the fictional contest) and compare it to Obama's infamous speech as a relative unknown in 2004, that's pretty easy to believe. On the other side of the aisle, the Vinick-McCain axis is a bit more of a coincidence, it would see. Although I would be perfectly happy with Alda's character as President (integrity, charisma, rationale), whereas McCain (slander, pander, and the charisma of the Black Hole of Calcutta) still gives me the willies.

Read the full article here.

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educate yourselves first

Another bit of slander by the McCain campaign, this one caught by fact-checking journalists before it even aired:
McCain's latest low blow.

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shiny

Booted up our monstrous Dell desktop (machine of a thousand faults, don't buy one unless you have a thing for talking to people in call centres) to try out the Windows-only Beta of Google's much-hyped Chrome browser. On first look, it's a bit underwelming, being basically Firefox 3 with the Flock 2 startup page. It's very tidy and all, but that's really the only improvement on open-source browsers; i was really expecting little gizmos such as a RSS signal or something similar to Flock.

But then again, sleek and minimal puts it in Safari's range, and that's the market it's probably aiming for. Still, I wonder once the buzz dies will all the techies quietly remove it from their docks, or does it have enough to make it the default? Maybe the lack of bells and whistles will be what sells it after all.

never gonna give you up...

Neal already mentioned this in a comment down below, but i laughed and thought it was worthy of note...

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addendum

For anyone bored by the last couple of posts (how that could be possible eludes me)... I just stuck in the last episode of West Wing Season One, and cackled a bit when President Bartlet announced his plans for relaxing - and thus feels your pain, dear readers:

Bartlet : I am excited about it. You come to the end of a long day, you sit back, you open a beer, you watch a sporting event.That's what men do.
Charlie: Girl's softball.
Bartlet : If that's what's on, then that's what they watch. It's either that, or a cricket match between Scotland and Bermuda. Now, I am an educated man, Charlie, but when someone tries to explain cricket to me, all I want to do is hit him in the head with a teapot.

a late night ramble about nothing in particular

SPEAKING of Australian cricket, I've been looking for an excuse to shoehorn in a little nugget of sporting randomness for the last couple of days. There is a large discrepancy with me when it comes to cricket, for although as a rule I loathe the English on all international sporting platforms, be that with ball or on track, I was brought up to make exception for those knights who wield the bat along the chain, waiting for a small leather clad object to come hurtling towards then at up to 150 kph. It was probably just because the Irish were, and still usually are, so duff, but also because the only thing that the English media coverage seems to be not just impartial of, but fun about, is cricket. Perhaps it's mostly because of the type of correspondent who would cover cricket, excluding the Johnny-come-lately-and-rather-sloshed sort that gets drafted in for the ICC World Cup and so on... again, i refer you to the lovely Test Match Special gentlemen.

Of course, as an honourary Pom I am therefore traditionally in hatred of the Aussie side. In truth I quite like them. And thus, a few nights ago I stumbled upon this sporting oddity.

There is always a lot of on-pitch verbals and humour in cricket (let's face it, there's a load of guys standing around a field for most of a day, there's going to be) and one particular item of note came upon me the other day when I was reading up on Chappell's famously disgraceful piece of underarm bowling from 1981. I refer you to wikipedia for more, but basically, it only happened once and it was bloody disgraceful, as far as this correspondent is concerned. Look, there it is, to the right of this very text. Bloody disgraceful. (I'm going to see how much of this I can remember without looking at the wiki cause it'll be funny - for me. Let's face it, I'm the only person still reading this post.)

ANYWAY, the episode goes that with the final ball of the final over of the third ODI between the Aussies and New Zealand in early 1981, New Zealand found themselves needing six runs to tie the match. Now, getting a six in cricket is pretty difficult, as anyone who's ever tried will tell you. (My one effort in school, I distinctly recall, involved a huge swing, a short nip off the end of my bat (which I could bearly lift anyway) and it plopping straight at the feet of someone at near silly point, probably about twenty feet away.) Not only that, but it was definitely a tail ender at the batting end, as I think New Zealand had already lost most of their wickets. But, apparently the captain, one T. Chappell, felt threatened. (Now, HE'S interesting because he was mistakenly given not out in his own innings after the umpire didn't see a catch at deep extra cover or something, where the fielder literally scraped his hands on the ground in order to get low enough to get it - the days before big screen replays.) Anyway, T. Chappell instructed his brother G. Chappell, who was in to bowl, to do something so dastardly, so disgusting, that even the commentator, Mr Richie Benaud (himself, of course, the captain of a very boring Aussie side in the '50's) called it... yes, bloody "disgraceful"!

So he did, he rolled the ball along the ground, an a not-technically-illegal-because-no-one-would-ever-be-a-big-enough-cad-to-do-it act of... well, caddishness. And the rest is history. The sporting world was outraged. Ironically, a New Zealander who threw down his bat and walked off in disgust was the only one censured by the ICC, but there you go.

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The point, however, is that this leads us to the images below. In the first ever Twenty20 game between the two sides in 2005, Glenn McGrath started his final over bowling by feigning an underarm, for which extrovert umpire Billy Bowden (once accused of trying to be a bigger celebrity that the players) whipped out a football-style red card and 'sent him off' - the only time a player has been treated in this style by an umpire upon the field of cricket. Underarm bowling is now banned from limited overs cricket, though I believe still

Despite my rambling story, I thought the pictures were pretty interesting, if only for their randomness.




I can sleep easy now.

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lara lara laffs

Whilst flicking idly down through the channels 'pon my freeview box (as I am prone to do: usually starting from More4, of course, the home of wit and whimsy, and not Dave, as some would purport) I did come across the sight of Alan Shearer. In an England shirt. Getting broken in two by Brian Lara. The former West Indies cricket captain (and excellent lefty number 4, not to mention occasional hero at mid-off... been making up for my lack of TMS - see 'keeping his rod up, so to speak' from yesterday). Shortly followed by former Man Utd hero Jaap Stam. There's something not quite right here, I said to myself. I thought that milk smelt a bit funny, I said to myself...

Of course, it turned out the spectacle in question was the return of SoccerAid, an excellent UNICEF intiative, which has lots of celebrities and aged footballers running around a half-full Wembley as its showpiece. Actually, it was pretty entertaining - both cause Romario couldn't spot the target at a rifle range for blind people, and because the best goal of the match wasn't from Shearer, Sheringham or Di Canio, but rather some french bloke who was in Sex and the City.

Also, everyone's favourite referee Pierluigi Collina came a cropper, had to be stretched off in some pain after falling over himself. Never seen a substitute referee live before. Did I mention Brian Lara was at left-back for the Rest of the World side? As in the guy with the eponymous series of playstation games? Apparently he's pretty handy with a pig's bladder too, you know. Look, there's a picture of him at the top of this article taking the mickey out of Shivnarine Chanderpaul. (It's just after the second test against the Aussies during the autumn tour in 2005. You will of course recall the Hobart test was the one where Lara himself only made 10 before being dismissed lbw by Brett Lee in the first innings, the Aussies winning the contest by nine wickets on the fourth day, I do believe. Chanderpaul can smile now, but he only made 13 in the second innings before going to... you guessed it, Brett Lee. Thankyou, Wisden! Cricket is a game for statisticians...)

ANYWAY I believe you can actually watch the whole thing (SoccerAid, that is, not the 2005 2nd test in Hobart, Australia) back here on ITV's mini-site. It's not often I'd recommend something on ITV, but mind you...

...it's only Brian freakin' Lara!

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pal-in comparison II

Starting to get annoyed with this... It would seem that I do, in fact, share pretty much the same ethos as Sarah Palin on most of the "big Christian questions" - because (as Governor of Alaska, anyway) her stance on them are not completely extremist (as flagged in this Boston Globe article.) Apart from a case of the hitlers on the issue of health benefits for same sex partners. (I don't take issue with her being opposed to it, but she has actively pursued amending the constitution to bar them.)

I still can't come to like her though: (a) The guns, and (b) she's the meaningless VP candidate anyway, both stand between me and any kind of reconciliation to considering the Republicans as anything more conforming to the a faded stereotype. Was watching Larry King yesterday morning, where he ran a clip of John McCain's speech. On the mention of 'government', the crowd would boo each time - because of course, in the pursuit of privacy rights, Republicans are against big government. The fact that Republicans currently ARE that big government that keep invading people is not something that seemed to filter down to knuckle-head level. But there you go.

As a Christian, can I side with the other guys? Or am I obliged to go with the group that answers the faith-based issues closed to my own liking, even if everything else is poles away? I'm constantly struck by the fact that even though the Democrats probably are the more secular party of the two in the USA, so many of their policies conform with how I feel Christians should be called to live. But there you go, I guess.

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keeping his rod up, so to speak

Having got a borrowed iPod hooked up to my car stereo in the last wee while, I haven't been as attentive to the eternally entertaining Test Match Special as I was brought up to be this summer. Some may be bemused as to how listening to cricket cannot be worse than watching it in the first place, but trust me, it's a lot more fun. Between the celebrity commentators and guests, the ridiculously clever ways to sling insults back and forth (whilst staying within Radio 4's mandate!), and the number of ways Phil Tuftnell can come up with to say "yorker", it's basically the audio equivalent of sitting around a table with a lot of middle-aged men taking the piss out of each other. Which is, in fact, what they are usually doing.

One particularly fine example of some on-air corpsing was this quote from Christopher Martin-Jenkins as he attempted to use a fishing analogy and spectacularly failed, with innuendo-laden hilarity ensuing.

who you gonna call?

You've probably heard this already, but still... I swear, if Columbia make this into the nightmare that would be the team getting together to hand over the reins to a new generation of ecto-dodgers, I will cry.

(A team which would no doubt be headed up by Shia LeBoeuf and probably feature at least two of the cast of Heroes, and a geeky girl character who ends up being strangely hot once she puts her jumpsuit on. And an 'adorable' dog ghost. Too far?)

On the other hand, if Murray, Ackroyd, Ramis and Hudson roll back into New York for one last hurrah, then those tears will be tears of recaptured adolescent joy...

Read the Empire Online summary of the news - Columbia plans Ghostbusters 3...

seinfeld plus gates equals...

The script for this ad is so terrible I don't know where to begin. I thought I was alone in this, or maybe it was one of those things (like Alan Carr, Catherine Tate or the entire cast of the original Office) that I just don't get but everyone else insists is so cool, the polar bears gave it an approval of 94%. But thankfully, Darren Waters at the BBC Technology page has vindicated my thinking.

t in the barn line-up

Initial T in the Barn line-up has been unveiled (and already added to.) Check out the mini-site (eyes right!) for more.

blackout bother

The power's just back on after going out for a few hours this evening. Due to the current fault (there's always one) in our alarm system at home, the blackout tripped the backup alarm and so the wailing commenced. After being heavily chastised by my sister, (that makes it sound much politer than it was) for attempting to say I might be able to fix it, I waited for her to storm off and then disabled and dismantled the alarm at a couple of points around the house (after first binding up the offending siren in a rubber glove and parcel tape, does a good job of blocking the airflow.)

The fact that the entire operation took me less than five minutes, and I didn't really know what I was doing until I opened the boxes, is now going to keep me up all night. Think we need to see about a system upgrade... prospective burglars, don't get any ideas.

Ironically, watching the bit in Gangs of New York where Cameron Diaz's character is robbing uptown houses dressed as a maid...

do i play hockey? wellllllllll....

Hockey's back. The Belfast Giants kick off the new EIHL season this Saturday at home to the Cardiff Devils. It's all a bit exciting this year because with a new line-up from the players, backroom staff and even the ownership, many pundits (including the BBC's smallish coverage!) reckon this season could see the Giants back on top after a lacklustre showing last term.

Just as excitingly, Ronan, Dave et al (hopefully including me at some point this year, if I can wriggle my way back in) will this season be broadcasting the webcasts live and completely free from all the home games. To keep it free really depends on keeping the viewing figures up, so from saturday afternoon you can catch all the action from the webcast site. If only for Wayne Hardman's now legendary colour commentary alone (alongside the very capable Nigel Ringland), it'll be brilliant.

Even better, get your backside down for a great night's entertainment at the Odyssey - less than a tenner if you're a student. Check out the fixtures poster above. Also keep an eye on Sky Sports for live coverage of a few of the games throughout the season!

pal-in comparison

The sheen may have come off post-DNC for the Democrat ticket in the US election, but is the resurgent Republican package really worth the earache? I watched Sarah Palin's speech to the RNC earlier in full (something I didn't get to do properly for Barack last week) and was pretty impressed by both her oratory and her ability to not just slander, but downright "make stuff up".

TimesOnline's Hannah Strange has broken down some of the bigger fibs here. It's quite the list for one speech. Earlier this week she also blogged about the discrepancies between McCain (who I still find repulsive, even though I can't quite put my finger on it - and it's not just the corruption and antagonising) and his albeit more appealing VP nominee. Read the big ones here.

t in the barn: blog

The official T in the Barn blog has gone live. Hopefully over the next few weeks you can follow the progress and build-up to the night online... and hopefully that will all be positive!

t in the barn launch

Very quietly, the build up to T (and Toast) in the Barn has begun. I've copied and pasted the initial blurb from facebook 'cause I'm really lazy. For non-facebookers in particular (who won't have been invited yet), if you're interested in coming (or even participating) then please give me a shout in the usual ways. Pencil it in folks, Saturday 4th of October.

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T (and Toast) in the Barn is a one-night only musical gathering, intended to be all about the fun without the fuss... good music, good people, good times.

Entry is free because its a festival for friends, playing for friends. With that in mind (and the size of the location) it's a closed event, so sorry if you wanted to bring your granny/weird cousin/guy you fancy from small group... but if you want to bring someone who hasn't been invited already, just drop a line and all should be fine, within reason.

There will be a donation bucket to help cover the minimal costs (hire of sound gear, etc.) but all profits will be going straight to charity: water and Tearfund - feel free to bring your jar of pennies!

Hay bales and plastic cups provided. Limited secure parking (i.e. not on the roadside) available. Camping facilities (i.e. garden or field) also available. Strict limit on numbers.

Final lineup still being confirmed... watch this space!

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AND FINALLY

If you're a musician (or performer - mimes need not apply!), and have would be interested in playing in a barn near the end of the M2 motorway on the first saturday in october, gratis and for charidee, get in touch and we'll squeeze you in somewhere!

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render unto...

In response to Dave's rant on rendering... this is why man discovered drip brewing and killer su doku!

Currently handwriting a job app... first form I've ever filled in that does not ask for an employment history or date of birth... so I might actually have a shot then!

Rediscovered the joy of the PostSecret project this morning - often hilarious and heartbreaking simultaneously.

stuck in a rut

Just read an interesting article from writer Russ Breimeier about the state of modern worship music. Russ reckons we're stuck in a rut and going nowhere after the initial surge in great output from prolific musicians and songwriters over the last ten years, and backs it up with some convincing stats about CCLI's most used/licensed songs this year - most of them being five years older or more (in the USA.) In the UK, the same top 25 are actually on average a whole lot older by my reckoning, from the birth of modern worship (circa 1998-2000) and further back, with the exception really of Stuart Townend's output and a few american imports.

Just as interesting though, Breimeier offers a few starting suggestions about how to solve this. It's worth a look if you're a songwriter in general, but particularly if you regularly lead or co-ordinate praise too. Read the entire article here.

into the great light

In what is becoming a bad week for good people, woke up this morning to find out that founding DMB member (and therefore demigod) saxophonist, jazz master and professional genius LeRoi Moore has passed after some unexpected complications in his recovery from a quad bike accident a few months.

Word is Jack Coffin, LeRoi's understudy is going stay on in place for the rest of the summer tour, but anyone who can appreciate that LeRoi pretty much made sax solos cool in rock songs again (even in Springsteen's wake) will recognise that the world just got a little less talented.

bend an ear to the truth they tell ye

Oul Ronnie Drew has finally been claimed. Was pretty much dragged to see him a few years ago with Dave, spurred on by our joint passing interest in drinking songs, (but more his own deep-seeded desire to be republican, whether he'd admit it or not - and he would, just to spite you). He talked as much as he sang, but it was pretty enthralling. He could have been talking to any crowd anywhere, you got the feeling he would just tell the first story that had come to him that night.

And my WORD, the beard really was that astounding, though he lost it in the last couple of years to the throat cancer that would claim him.

Personal favourite is any of the various version of Finnegan's Wake that the Dubliners and Ronnie pulled off.


Have already downed a pint in his memory tonight... singing to follow...

showcasing talent

Something I've been meaning to do for ages is build a proper showreel. I've never really been able to get it all together: the problem with working for other people too often (but not often enough to go fully pro, I hear you chuckle. Sod off.) Anyway, I have at least cobbled a few pieces (mostly previously mentioned on this very page) together to create the showcase, now available in the main "about" bar on the right. Or below, if your mouse finger has had a sudden fit of paralysis and you can only move one hundred pixels, and not the required four.

View the mediatree showcase.

toast II

Introduction to said adventures can be found here... enough said.

"but yeah..."

"...Camp is awesome.".

Good times folks... check out all the kids work here. Including the ridiculously popular FREE Camp Radio RINGTONE... oh yes...

Genuinely the best Camp Alliance experience yet. Already excited about next year! It's not often I would enjoy working consecutive 15 and 16 hour days (voluntary, of course) but when the times are that good, how could you not?

If that doesn't float your boat, at least go to the Monday 'Pictures and Sounds' section and download the podcast, which for one day only was actually a Boosh-esque (others words, not mine, thank goodness) radio play about quests, horrific insults and cheese-snaffling rodents. We laughed a lot.

no quibbles from me

Down in Rostrevor this week (where the walls between the worlds are that little bit thinner) in my usual annual role as tutor/photographer/guru at Camp Alliance. Extra exciting this year is that El Craigery has come up with The Camp Quibbler, an online newspaper that kids will be designing and uploading daily parallel to the Camp Radio broadcasts and podcasts that are now 'part of the very fabric of Camp'.

You can follow Camp during the week through the AYW website, or go straight to the Quibbler page of said website by clicking here.

Monday's podcast (on the Pictures and Sounds page) was knocked up by the producer and his best mate whilst exceptionally hyper one weekend. Get high on sugar and listen with a friend.

the knight is darkest before the dawn

So after months of excitement on my part, to the point of waiting for the crushing disappointment, I can hereby confirm that The Dark Knight pretty much took the bar, set it above arms reach and then blew the **** out of it, as far as any of the genres it touches are concerned.

Heath was good. Heath was very, very good. But Heath was only one of a large cast, all on equal footing. I'm not one for spoilers so I'll be careful, but Eckhart's character study finally banishes the demons of Joel Schumacher's version of Harvey Dent with an arch that, even if you know anything about Batman is still crushing; Gyllenhaal amends for Katie Holmes, the weakest part of Begins; Gary Oldman does good guy and pulls it off again; hell, I'll say it (little spoiler): even Cillian Murphy's back for a cameo to atone for the crap way he was dispatched previously.

Yeah, so Ledger will get nominated for an Actor Oscar. As a whole it's hard to know whether he actually merits it, but for his first 30 seconds of screen time alone you would give it to him. And he is creepy as hell.

But Bale is his match. For anyone who's ever been lucky enough to read Alan Moore's The Killing Joke will recognise some of the dynamic between the Bat and his greatest foe, though of course the narratives are poles apart. One of the great victories of this film is it succeeds where Iron Man, for instance, would have liked to: we get time among the violence and fast-paced narrative to actually get inside the psyche of just about every major player. This is about as close to a character study as a comic book movie is going to get; not in the sense of Peter Parker's torment, or Wolverine's haunted past; but seeing what really cracks them up without 45 minutes of opening exegesis required. Instead, in looks and reactions, Jonathan Nolan has managed to write and tie together believe strands in an unbelievable universe, and his brother has done a very tidy job of bringing them to life.

Of course, there's always a flaw... sonar? Really? I know he's a bat, but.... come on.

oh, cuil

Hip new search engine Cuil launched today, and I was intrigued. It looks nice, I thought. Kinda like the search engine version of Flock - personally, I'm not big on chunky and cute, but damn it if it isn't appealing all the same.

Pity, then, that it runs about as well as a recently blinded fish. How do I test this sort of thing? Search for information about myself, of course. Now, maybe I've got too used to the monstrous Google index, whereby you just whack in random words and out come the highest associations. My first experience of search engines, back in the pre-Google days, was with the now utterly hopeless AltaVista; but, in a shadowy form the service that made it obsolete, it was based on web directory and so the graduation to googling wasn't too much of a shock (unlike the horrors of Lycos and Ask - phrasing your search as question is a little annoying after a while when all you want to find is... well, what do men want (more than a visit from The Rock?) Come on, I was a teenager. (Obviously, as an incredibly employable NQT and media professional, those days are several partitioned hard drives behind me now.)

Cuil can find nothing. I can't work out what the system is it is working on. It looks nice, but nice won't get you anywhere. It's a lot like my MySkip experience. If you can't get your head around it in thirty seconds, the kids move on.

Thankfully, Rory Cellan-Jones has already torn it a new one on the dot.life blog. But still try it: and if you can, work out what it's smoking...

...maybe we can get it out on the streets in Belfast and use it to slow the spides down when they're legging it from the scene of an ASBO. "Wasn't me officer, it was the tosser in the baseball cap who looks like he's sprinting through tar..."

"Cheers, son. You know, that reminds me of a search engine I was using earlier..."