lara lara laffs

Whilst flicking idly down through the channels 'pon my freeview box (as I am prone to do: usually starting from More4, of course, the home of wit and whimsy, and not Dave, as some would purport) I did come across the sight of Alan Shearer. In an England shirt. Getting broken in two by Brian Lara. The former West Indies cricket captain (and excellent lefty number 4, not to mention occasional hero at mid-off... been making up for my lack of TMS - see 'keeping his rod up, so to speak' from yesterday). Shortly followed by former Man Utd hero Jaap Stam. There's something not quite right here, I said to myself. I thought that milk smelt a bit funny, I said to myself...

Of course, it turned out the spectacle in question was the return of SoccerAid, an excellent UNICEF intiative, which has lots of celebrities and aged footballers running around a half-full Wembley as its showpiece. Actually, it was pretty entertaining - both cause Romario couldn't spot the target at a rifle range for blind people, and because the best goal of the match wasn't from Shearer, Sheringham or Di Canio, but rather some french bloke who was in Sex and the City.

Also, everyone's favourite referee Pierluigi Collina came a cropper, had to be stretched off in some pain after falling over himself. Never seen a substitute referee live before. Did I mention Brian Lara was at left-back for the Rest of the World side? As in the guy with the eponymous series of playstation games? Apparently he's pretty handy with a pig's bladder too, you know. Look, there's a picture of him at the top of this article taking the mickey out of Shivnarine Chanderpaul. (It's just after the second test against the Aussies during the autumn tour in 2005. You will of course recall the Hobart test was the one where Lara himself only made 10 before being dismissed lbw by Brett Lee in the first innings, the Aussies winning the contest by nine wickets on the fourth day, I do believe. Chanderpaul can smile now, but he only made 13 in the second innings before going to... you guessed it, Brett Lee. Thankyou, Wisden! Cricket is a game for statisticians...)

ANYWAY I believe you can actually watch the whole thing (SoccerAid, that is, not the 2005 2nd test in Hobart, Australia) back here on ITV's mini-site. It's not often I'd recommend something on ITV, but mind you...

...it's only Brian freakin' Lara!

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